Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm jealous of your bromance
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
