I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
