What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
This is classic penis vs brain.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
