Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
