so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
