So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
