fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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