The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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