i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
