literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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