i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize