Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
