hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
