I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It's shark week go big or go home
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
