How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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