1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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