btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
