There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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