i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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