Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
