THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
