i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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