I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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