That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
