you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
