Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I don't want my vagina anymore.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
