Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
