You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
