Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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