ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
