oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize