I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
