I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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