I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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