I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
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He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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