you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
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It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
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P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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