you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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