just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
