So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
