just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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