Are we in a gay sports bar?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
