I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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