Your tits are I can't wait for
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
