I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
