i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
