i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
