just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
