So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
