wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's blow job season.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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