at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
