So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
