I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
