She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
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he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
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