Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
