lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
