walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
