Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
