You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize