dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
