I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
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