I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
