but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
